Losing it

The feel of emo, lost, tired, sad, hopeless, no aims... this is what I'm feeling now... I'm gonna lose the person that is part of me , the person i love most... no more.... it seems like i just cant stop what is going to happen although i have been trying so many times, it all turns down to be empty... when this happens it makes me feel and i know that what goes around always comes back around.... maybe this is the punishment that i should get for hurting the people that like me or love me before, and now till my turn to love some one so deeply... its being taken away from me, is just so near yet so far.... I'm so not ready to leave her alone...

my sassy girl no more is really a clumsy girl, thinking back the time when i was with her, she would always be the princess... haha, shes also very scared of being fat, and she can really eat at times, so whenever at night we go out for a drink she would wanna eat but will feel guilty if she do so, so is my job to make her not to feel guilty, she will ask me whether i wanna eat? i will then say with my smiling face 'yes', she will be really happy coz she get to share the food with me and not feel that guilty after eating... and she has this bad habit of pealing her fingers dry skin, i will tell her every single day don't peal it anymore, back during the days she will try to stop and i will gently using my fingers to smoothen her fingers, but it seems is been long i didn't do that for her and might not get the chance anymore...

Some one must also really have the strength to carry her! i know she likes being carry but she always thinks that she is really heavy and i cant lift her up, hahaha but i always manager to carry her (but seriously is kinda heavy), i will carry her back to the room some times knowing that shes really tired at times and would fall asleep at the sofa, and when shes asleep i will call her a few times but shes really a piggy... so i will carry her to the bedroom, while carrying i get to know shes just faking to fall asleep but i noe shes tired and lazy to walk so it does not matter coz shes my cute little piggy... oh ya! knowing also she don't fold her blanket last time but she actually made it a habit now to fold it, after i told her to a few times, happy for her and myself for that.... keep it up girl!

But this is all the pass... i cant carry her to the bedroom, cant massage her, cant share food with her when she feels like eating, cant be a sand bag for her to release her anger or stress from her mom..... cant tell her the time to go class, cant walk her home, cant bring her out for dinner, cant do grocery shopping together.... I'm going to miss the moment i had with her every single bit of it... i have no idea what is going to happen after this.... I'm already so used to do everything for her.. cant wash the dishes for her, I'm so worried that her fingers will hurt when she wash them... she cant touch soap.... i no longer can be her manager, her private driver, her body guard when she goes out with that mini skirt, her house keeper, her massager, her rubbish bin for food..... and everything that she needed..... I'm so worried that she always sleep very late, bath late, wakes up late, didn't get to eat her breakfast, getting hungry, being bullied during work, being eyes by those perv's...... who's gonna look after her?!?! :"( i will still always be there to be her full time all free maid when she need me......

Lost

After so long that i have been so busy, which i don't have time to blog, so many things happened during this time period, from being happy till the saddest moment in life that i have face... i never thought that i will be one of those that will face this kind of problems.... it seems like everybody or maybe most of the people will face at least once of their happiest time & also their saddest moment in a life time... from gaining something till the feeling of losing someone dearest to us, will make us grown a step higher in life....

At moments or some times things wont be going our way, when that happen it might benefit us, or it might not... no matter what happens when moments like this happen, open a space in our heart, put down the face that's always being bring out to the public, show the other side of our self, show the weak part of our self and let others, which is stronger that us at that moment to help us... our family, our other half, our best friends and many more that will get us out of the moment that is blinding us from moving forward, let them bring us out of the mist that we are trapped in...

It hard some times to let our weakness out & being so vulnerable to others, but it seems like everyone have to let that out once in a while to others for a helping hand, lending shoulder, or a simple warm hug.. learning that we also have weakness will have us to know what mistakes we have done on the never ending, bumpy highway of our life that we are still continuing to drive on....

Remember the memories

I need you boo
I gotta see you boo
And there're hearts all over the world tonight,

Said the hearts all over the world tonight
Hey! Little mama,

you're a stunner

Hot..little figure,

Yes, you're a winner

And I'm so glad to be yours,

You're a class all your own

And.. little cutie

When..you talk to me

I swear..the whole world stops

You're my sweetheart

And I'm so glad that you are mine

You are one of a kind and..

You mean to meWhat I mean to you and..

Together baby,There is nothing we won't do'cause if I got you,

I don't need money,I don't need cars,Girl, you're my heart.

And..I'm into you,

And girl,No one else would do,'cause with every kiss and every hug,

You make me fall in love,

And now I know I can't be the only one,

I bet there heart's all over the world tonight,

With the love of their life who feels..

What I feel when I'm

I don't want nobody else,Without you, there's no one left then,

You're like Jordans on Saturday,

I gotta have you and I cannot wait now,

Hey! Little shawty,Say you care for me,

You know I care for you,You know...that I'll be true,

You know that I won't lie,You know that I would try,

To be your everything..'cause if I got you,

I don't need money,I don't need cars,Girl, you're my heart.

And..And I..Will never try to deny,that you're my whole life,

'cause if you ever let me go,I would die..

So I won't front,I don't need another woman,

I just need your all and nothing,'cause if I got that,

Then I'll be straightBaby, you're the best part of my day

I need you boo,I gotta see you boo

And there're hearts all over the world tonight,

Said the hearts all over the world tonight

They need it boo,

They gotta see their boo,

Said the hearts all over the world tonight,

Hearts all over the world tonight...........

wanna see you every night and be with you all the time....miss you baby, all from deep down my heart!!

Hopeless day...

Thinking that i have been spending the whole day in the cyber cafe, for now i kinda regret it.. realise that i really do miss my girl... shud have juz spend the time with her, know she wants it... but stupid myself still so attracted to gaming with my friend... Ok for now i really have to set myself for the maximum days of going to cyber cafe is twice a week best not 2.. somehow still feeling very uneasy now, really wanna talk to baby... i think shes kinda not really happy with wat im doing, but shes not saying much maybe thinking that its wat i am.. shud let me do it.... im missing her so much already better call her now, although she dosent wanna talk much at least i can still talk to her.... he he...

Out of reality

Thinking back to when i was younger, whenever the sky turn dark, the sun sets and the rise of the moon... i would just love to head out from home and go for a walk or sit at the swing, which i use to have few years back.. with the cold breeze flowing Thur my face and body, looking up to the sky above and running away from reality for that moment... it was really the best time for me..... just sit there all relaxed, get away from my Nagy mom, or any bad stuff that happen during the day... all being blew away by the breeze that's flowing around the air....

Day by day, all these childhood moments of mine has also follow the breeze being release into the thin air... it seems like life now is getting much more complicated comparing to life when i was back in the childhood.. now the swing have been removed, and hardly even get the free time to just sit down out in the garden or park, either alone or with accompany to just look at the sky and feel the cold breeze flowing Thur my body....

Suddenly miss that moment of going out there and just lying down at the grass and do noting but just feel the wind and look at the beautiful sky with stars all around(even so there might not be many stars around or even the wind).

The best thing to do that's always on my mind for a romantic night of 2 that's just me and my gf would be, after having a wonder'full' dinner will then head out to a place with wide open land covered by fine grass, and then both of us will just lie on the grass looking up to the cloudless sky with stars all over, add on with some pine trees at the surrounding and wind all over us.... (regarding there is any bugs or mosquitoes at the surrounding) lolz.....

just imagine that if there is a place like that in Malaysia! that will be the frequent place i will visit when i have the time.... sometimes at some nights, really just wish to have the chance of getting out of the reality and into some moments alone or even with the one i love and just feel the moment of peace without any worries, at least for a split moment of it, and will have to return to the cruel reality after that...or at least i would just have to listen to the song -Vincent(starry starry night)!

Ironman atlast

Another childhood fantasy superhero turned into a comic-book movie, thanks to the director of the movie 'IRONMAN' - Jon Favreau, to direct the movie to impress the viewers. Not forgetting the creator of 'IRONMAN' and also other marvel superhero's/hero's is obviously Stan Lee! never to forget him for creating so many superhero's that give me so much good memories during the young age.

the main character of 'Ironman'

Robert Downey Jr.- Tony Stark a.k.a Ironman

Gwyneth Paltrow - 'Pepper' Potts

Terrence Howard - Jim Rhodes

Jeff Bridges - Obadiah Stane a.k.a Iron Monger(bad guy)

At last! i get to watch Ironman after 3 days.... before the movie is being release i have been telling my gf and wanting to watch it with her when the day the movie is release in cinema's but was so busy with work... shes working and i have my stuff to do, until yesterday night! been hearing from my friends saying they have watch the movie for 3 days and at last get to watch it... Watch it at 1utama GSC cinema, was at first planning to watch it at pyramid but after second thought i can't go pyramid to watch such a nice movie! and also is been kinda long i didn't get the time to watch a movie with my gf for she has been bz with her work as well as me... so 1utama is the final decision.. wanted to get the gold class sits as well but nah! got the ticket's already.. Very excited for that movie for its one of my fav character back when i was still a kid..

After watching the movie, the overall rating i would give is slightly above average... i still think the movie is too short,at the part where Tony Stark transform into Ironman. The fighting scene is kinda short too.... as for the part showing the life style of Tony Stark is obviously nice... with all the nice car's!! pretty girls!! Rich!! Nice suits!! ahahaha!! very cool indeed, and very much the same as Batman the Dark Knight! The part when the Ironman suit is being created and also the technology and car's that is 'throw' into the movie is where it impress me lotz, as usual in this kinda of movie's. Somehow after the movie still can't get enough of it.. Maybe they will come out with the Ironman 2!?!? Hope do come out with the Ironman 2! at least that's what i think they should... HAHAHA!!

So for those who haven't watch Ironman yet Watch IT!!

Money!!!

Money! money!, why are you giving so much happiness and also sadness to so many people??!!

There is a saying for me that is with money you can't get everything, but without money you can't get anything! what you guys think?

my mom always tell me that I'm very lucky to have them sheltering me and not worry bout have nothing to eat or any other thing. I never really know what does that mean when i was younger by then, thinking that no matter what i do or anything just ask from my mom or dad they will sort it out for me! Till a couple of years back, i came out to work as a part timer and start meeting lots of people not only those around my life circle, hence even out of it, everything start to make sense.. Thinking that *I'm no more the happy go lucky, happy go spending guy anymore*

Starting to know how important is money towards an individual but still I'm not totally expose to the real society and i wont appreciate the money as how my parents does. When i was younger, knowing/ (watch TV) that some families because of money causes the family to tear apart, even the best brothers will feel depress or even jealous of the other siblings to be richer. Never think that will be the real truth, which i now think that it is the truth that money can realy separate even the closes family members... this is how terrible the society has made the money value to the individuals... thinking that even a dollar/ringgit less, (wrost still even a few cents!) you can't even buy the things that you need most at that time...

To have money and to get money is a totally opposite thing, just having the two different words, can change the money term into a horrible thing... I'm always thinking how much value is money to me? How much value is the money for the people around me?? This is the question everyone should think about, because of not knowing this question people often tend to forget every individual will have different thinking and also different needs.

For example: having someone that have money and someone that don't have money will eventually bring them into a big fight if they did not think of the two questions above. Just the normal everyday thing that is use money, can really differentiate individuals value of money towards them...

Money can realy be the best thing that a person to have or it can also be the worst thing for a person to have.......... so guys spend ur money wisely!